Wednesday, August 15, 2007


Confronting yourself is scary.

It's not something I've ever done before. I've always managed to avoid it somehow, and I'm not even sure of the mechanisms I used. I thought I had, a few times, but I think I now realize that I was wrong.

The worst of it is, I don't think I like me.

Well, maybe that's not the worst of it... It's not like I think I'm an asshole - though I sometimes am - it's more like I think I'm pathetic. I've designed all of these evasion techniques, and I'm not even cognizant of them more often than not.

So the true worst of it is, I often act in ways that are not in my own best interests because my sense of self isn't strong enough to enforce my interests.

I feel stupid today.

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