Thursday, August 9, 2007

forgive me

Forgive me for today. I'm feeling a little depressed, and as much as I fight it, I can't seem to shake the feeling. I have this powerful urge to embrace it, to feel the pain and depression and let it drag me down and stay there.

I won't do that, but permit me a few moments to let this wash over me and be done with it.

Words stolen from Trent:

Love is not enough

I can't remember what it is we try to forget
In your eyes is a place worth remembering
The closer we think we are
It only got us so far
Now have you got anything left to show?
No, no, I didn't think so.
The sooner we realize
We cover ourselves with lies
But underneath it we're not so tough
And love is not enough

And everything I believed..
I believed I could get better with you

Love is not enough


you know.. he's right of course, love is not enough, but it sure makes some things worth fighting for.

If anything, I'm humbled by this experience. I thought I was an island. I thought I was a a fortress. I thought I was all I needed. I now know, I cannot stand alone. I do not know best.

I am in love. And I have fight left in me.

Those words above - they're not mine, but writing them there is cathartic.

So many metaphors spring to mind to illustrate the way I feel right now. Fire and crucibles and kernels of truth and light all clamor for attention. But I hide behind metaphors. Right now, I need to be honest and open and transparent.

I'm scared and I'm tired and I'm in pain. I don't feel like I have a right to feel this way. Forgive me.

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